A small rant about big words, empty ideas, and what actually makes an essay impressive

As my tenth year as an English teacher approaches, I want to share one of my greatest pet peeves: the student who thinks they can fool me.

I have read thousands of essays over the years, ranging from the abysmal to the sublime, and the best of them all have one thing in common.

The student is actually saying something.

That sounds obvious, but it is becoming surprisingly rare.

Far more common is the student who has apparently fed their thesaurus into a blender and poured the resulting sludge onto the page. Somewhere along the way, students picked up the idea that sounding intelligent is the same thing as writing intelligently.

It isn't.

Unfortunately, social media "essay hacks", AI-generated writing, and outdated advice have only reinforced this misconception. Students are told to "use sophisticated vocabulary" or "sound academic", but nobody explains what that actually means. The result is essays full of oversized words trying desperately to compensate for undersized ideas.

English teachers aren't impressed by vocabulary.

We're impressed by insight.

The Sophisticated Vocabulary Trap

Take this sentence:

Gatsby's accumulation of extensive financial resources fails to facilitate the restoration of his romanticised historical aspirations.

What is it actually saying?

Gatsby's wealth does not allow him to realise his dream of returning to the past.

If the second version sounds too simple to you, you've probably fallen into the trap.

Many students believe sophisticated writing must sound complicated. In reality, sophisticated writing is clear. The harder your reader has to work to understand your point, the weaker your writing usually is.

The purpose of language is communication, not camouflage.

Your Marker Shouldn't Need a Translator

Here's another example:

Throughout the temporal progression of the Roaring Twenties, Fitzgerald critiques the multifaceted complexities of the American societal paradigm.

That's actually quite a good point.

What a shame it's buried beneath garbled scat.

Here's exactly the same idea written properly:

Written during the excess and optimism of the 1920s, Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby reveals the emptiness beneath America's obsession with wealth and status.

Notice what changed.

The second sentence doesn't use simpler vocabulary because simple words are somehow "better". It uses more precise vocabulary. Every word earns its place. Nothing exists simply to sound impressive.

This is one of the biggest misconceptions about essay writing. Students often think markers reward long words.

They don't.

Markers reward clarity.

If the person assessing your essay has to mentally translate it back into English before they can work out what you're trying to say, you've already made their job harder. That's rarely a winning strategy.

Simple Language Doesn't Mean Simple Thinking

This is where students often get confused.

I'm not saying you should use simple words all the time.

I'm saying you should use the right words.

Analytical writing thrives on precision.

Words such as:

• challenges

• exposes

• reinforces

• critiques

• contrasts

• undermines

• symbolises

• reflects

These are useful because they describe exactly what an author is doing.

For example:

Fitzgerald critiques the American Dream.

Perfectly acceptable.

But compare it with this:

Fitzgerald critiques the American Dream through his portrayal of wealth as an illusion that promises fulfilment but ultimately delivers isolation.

That's much stronger.

Not because it's longer.

Because it develops the idea.

Every extra word contributes something meaningful.

Length is not depth.

Development is depth.

The Difference Between Fancy and Precise

Students often mistake complexity for sophistication.

They're different things.

Consider these two sentences.

Fancy:

The utilisation of wealth-oriented symbolic representations facilitates Fitzgerald's comprehensive interrogation of aspirational ideological constructs.

Precise:

Fitzgerald uses symbols of wealth to expose the false promises of the American Dream.

Which one would you rather read?

Which one actually communicates an idea?

The second sentence may contain fewer syllables, but it demonstrates far greater control.

Good academic writing isn't about making your reader feel stupid.

It's about making your ideas impossible to misunderstand.

Now for the Fun Part...

Let's take a perfectly reasonable analytical point and coat it with self-important pomposity, verbosity and grandiloquent bombast.

Within the multifaceted and intricately constructed framework of his literary exploration of early twentieth-century American society, Fitzgerald undertakes a sustained and profoundly nuanced interrogation of the ideological construct commonly designated as the American Dream, exposing, through a series of symbolically resonant narrative mechanisms and socioeconomically inflected character interactions, the latent contradictions, aspirational inadequacies, and ultimately illusory promises that underpin its culturally entrenched mythology.

What did that add?

A headache.

Nobody has ever received extra marks because their sentence resembled a malfunctioning university prospectus.

In fact, experienced English teachers become remarkably good at spotting this kind of writing because it almost always hides the same problem:

There isn't much underneath.

What Actually Impresses English Teachers?

If you want higher marks in English essays, here's what your teacher is actually looking for:

• A clear, arguable thesis.

• Analytical ideas that go beyond obvious observations.

• Evidence that's carefully chosen and explained.

• Precise vocabulary used naturally.

• Logical paragraph structure.

• Clear expression that makes complex ideas easy to understand.

Notice what's missing.

Nobody is handing out marks for "most unnecessary adverbs per paragraph."

The best essays I've ever marked weren't the ones filled with dictionary words.

They were the ones where I could almost hear the student thinking.

They had something interesting to say.

They explained it well.

They trusted their ideas enough not to hide them behind inflated language.

The Rule Worth Remembering

Whenever you're tempted to replace a perfectly good word with a fancier one, stop and ask yourself a simple question:

Does this word make my idea clearer, or does it just make it longer?

If it's the second one, delete it.

Your assessor will thank you.

More importantly, your marks probably will too.

Need help writing stronger English essays?
I work with Australian high school students in Years 7–12 to develop clearer analytical writing, stronger essay structure, and more confident responses to novels, poetry, and persuasive texts. Lessons are delivered online, making it easy for students across Australia to access personalised English tutoring. If you're looking for an experienced online English tutor who focuses on improving thinking—not just memorising essay formulas—you can learn more about my tutoring services here.